I wasn't worried when I turned forty, I wasn't happy that I was in that age category but I wasn't worried about it either. I should have been.
I was working on a wooden project at home and had trouble reading my tape measure. It had never happened before, and I thought I must have something in my eye like dust, but sadly no amount of rinsing with water made my sight any better. I thought I was going blind.
Apparently I just needed reading glasses, but it was a dash to my pride to wear them. I do wear them now more than ever, even if my wife smirks at me when I put them on. (She knows I hate them). I hate the glasses because I feel like less of a young man and more like an old one.
I go to bed at night and sometimes just lay there for hours before going to sleep, I have resorted to bringing a laptop into the room and watching a documentary on wig making or something equally boring and I pass out almost instantly. This is also a new after 40's issue I am having.
On the topic of sleeping, after I do eventually pass out, when I wake up it seems that somebody must have came into the room while I was sleeping and hit me repeatedly with a baseball bat, because I am sore all over and I have absolutely no explanation for it. I try to think about what I did the day before...(Hmmmm yup I did umm nothing, slept on the couch, watched tv, played some guitar.) Any of those things do not explain why I feel like I need a body cast and a caseload of advil.
When I finally do drag my poor aching body out of bed, I head over to the washroom for my daily sporadic urination adventure, in which I'm never sure if I'm done or not. (Tinkle tinkle stop tinkle stop tinkle tinkle drip tinkle stop tinkle stop drip drip tinkle stop) Once again this sort of thing never happened before I turned forty.
Have you ever looked for your keys for an hour while you had them in your hand the whole time? I have, so fun. Have you ever looked at your hands and wondered where all these wrinkles came from? So fun. Have you ever been walking just fine and suddenly your lower back goes into so much pain that you would swear you had just been shot? I Have, Sooo Fun.
Has anyone ever been talking to you and you have absolutely no other distractions and you are completely engaged in the conversation but when it's over you can't remember a word that was said? So fun!
If this is just the tip of my start, down the proverbial downward spiral that I will continually travel until I die, I want no part of it. I'm only in my forties for cryin out loud, now I am scared for my fifties and what sort of new pleasures that is going to bring.
This Sucks
Scott Goerz
