I used to look forward to the day when I could shave, when I was a boy. I thought it meant that I was finally becoming a man and I could do what I wanted. I remember seeing the other boys in my school with their sparse facial hair and being jealous that they had achieved their manhood but I had not, until one day I noticed a few whiskers on my cheek.
Be careful what you wish for, is an old saying from who knows where but it still holds true to this day. I hate shaving with a passion, and I think I have an obsessive compulsive disorder with my face. My face, however, was only the beginning, at around the age of about 20 I had some incredibly thin hair, and it was receding yearly. At 24 I decided it was time to shave off what little I had left on top or else I would be privy to the dreaded comb over.
Do you think it could end there? Of course not.
At some point in my life it was the in thing to, ahem, "Manscape" Yep, shave all that hair from my groin area. My first time doing it I used a dull razor and when I had finished I thought I should get myself some maxi pads so that the blood didn't show through my pants. "You poor ladies" I had a real empathy for women in that moment.
20 years later I've got it down to a fine science, and I could pretty much go from head to toe in about 20 minutes if I wanted to be a dolphin for a day. But do you think it's over? Oh Nay Nay. Recently I have had the pleasure of shaving my ears, you read that correctly, I have to shave my ears now, long hairs grow not only in my ears but on the outside of them too, and they are long and sneaky, I usually don't notice them until after I've been to an important event and been around my peers, it's after that event that my wife will notice a three inch long hair jutting out the back side of my ear waving to people. Either she sees it or I see it in the bathroom.
I wonder if a day will come where I don't care if I shave or not and I start to look like a bald sasquatch. I will know when that day comes, but until then I'm going to keep on shaving.
Scott Goerz
