I think we all know someone who always has epic problems going on with their life, when you talk with this person, they are always depressed, nothing is ever good in their lives, and it seems like their world is a chaotic mess.
Most of us want to help this individual, somewhere in the midst of all the complaining there is a decent person underneath, or they were a good person before their life started to unravel, which is why you are friends with them in the first place.
We want to help them, we offer advice and try to give them ideas to find a solution to their problem, we offer our help in the form of financial or physical, we will be there if they need us.
Some of our friends do seem to get out of their rut after a while with our help but what about the ones that seem to be stuck in that spot permanently and no amount of help that you offer is going to budge them.
Those types of people refuse to help themselves, they don't take your good advice and they spend a free handout foolishly. These types of people love drama, they create it if there isn't any and they are not healthy individuals to be around, they will try to bring you down with them.
You can't let them. Yes your heart goes out to them, you feel the need to do something, but it's impossible to help someone who won't help themselves, and you have to recognize that obscure fact. If you believe that good person you used to know still exists somewhere deep in all that turmoil, but they have completely given up, then you have decide for yourself when it's time to let go.
Don't let anyone else bring you down, our lives are hard enough as it is without having someone else hanging off you. I had a friend that was down in the dumps and needed money for food, so I gave him some plus a little extra, I found out later that he lost it all in a casino.
He told me he was starving, and spent all his money on rent, so I felt sorry for him. His excuse to me was that he thought he could win more to keep himself afloat. Complete BS.
I cut him out of my life, and no longer talk to this person, this was just one of many instances where he screwed me over with his sob story drama, and I felt sorry for him. My life has been simpler since then, less drama, less stress.
Do your best to help others out but know your limits to your good will. It will benefit you the most when you decide to cut out the drama and help those that actually need it.
Scott Goerz
