Why do we have the emotion of jealousy? Does it have a purpose that helps us? I remember when I was dating a girl who I was totally infatuated with, in my eyes she had no equal when it came to other girls. When we went out I would become incredibly jealous if she talked to other guys or hung out with other people when I wasn't around and in the end it was my insecurities that drove us apart.
I was scared that the relationship would end and that I would lose her because I had put her on a pedestal, and instead of enjoying the relationship and appreciating what I had I instead feared every moment when we were in public.
Nobody wants to feel like they are owned, and they will leave you if they feel like you are being too possessive. Jealousy can be a monster if it controls you. Why do we even have this emotion? It seems to me that it is completely useless and does not enrich our lives at all.
I have had a lot of time since that jealousy infused relationship to reflect upon it. Nobody can stop anybody else from cheating on them, if its going to happen it will happen and you getting upset and being possessive will push that person you care so deeply for, away from you or may even be the cause of their leaving or cheating.
You have to trust the person you are with, after all you chose to be with them, if you don't trust them completely, leave the relationship. It is that simple. Trusting someone is hard if you have been hurt before, but that is something you have to deal with with, not the person you are with, you have to realize that you are in a different relationship with a different person and things will be different as long as you don't go off the jealousy deep end. You have to have trust if you want any relationship to last.
Scott Goerz
