Every time I have ever been to a funeral the most heart felt emotions and great memories get shared about the deceased. I have always enjoyed the kind words and memories others have shared but have always felt that the person that would enjoy the funeral the most was the person that had died in the first place.
We all have had someone close to us that has died, whether it has been a mother, father, brother, sister, best friend, lover, wife or husband, those of us that were the closet to them should celebrate them while they are living at a milestone in their lives in the same sort of manner that we hold funerals.
We hold, birthdays, which is not the same at all, presents are given out and a few hugs, but then we eat drink and have fun. But memories of how that person has influenced and shaped our lives is not shared with everybody that has attended.
I think there should be milestone celebrations every 25 years after turning 50, where we gather up our family and closest friends to celebrate that person's life so far. We put up videos and slide shows with pictures, what they have achieved so far and where they are headed, we talk about how they have impacted our lives and how we are better from simply knowing them.
It's a Funeral for the living, and I know for a fact that my mother who died recently, would have appreciated this more when she was alive than deceased at her own funeral. Anyone who is alive would appreciate this acknowledgement of their gift to this world. Most of us don't have the chance to tell someone we care about how we really feel, sure we say "I love you." all the time but that is almost a staple in any conversation nowadays, it's the ending to a conversation you say to someone you care about.
We don't tell them exactly why we love them and get into all the tear jerking details. They know we love them and that is enough for that moment.
Having people stand up and announce to everybody in the audience why they love you and how you have made them a better person will make your soul shine brighter for the rest of your life. The people who had to sit down and write a speech about you, who have to search their memories and feelings will be better off after they have expressed themselves. If you died the very next day there would be no regrets from anyone who got to tell you how they really felt about you. They would be sad that you were gone but at least they know how you and those closest to you felt because you have had a celebration of life or a funeral for the living.
Scott Goerz
