Have you ever been walking somewhere and a complete stranger will look at you a certain way, and you can tell by the way they are looking at you that you are doing something that they disapprove of?
Do you say something or just ignore them and carry on?
I remember walking around a mall and talking loudly with a friend, laughing and having fun. We weren't being disrespectful but perhaps we were a bit loud. We got some extremely dirty looks from some people who were walking by us. I ignored them but part of me wanted to ask what their problem was.
All of us have to live with each other on this planet and it would be easier if we all got along but I don't think that will ever happen. Maybe we don't have to get along but instead respect the fact that everybody is different and accept that not all of us are going to fit into what you would consider an ideal personality.
Another type of dirty look is one that is from someone you have known for a long time, it could be your parent, sibling, or loved one. My wife is an expert on sending me on a guilt trip with just one look. I might be feeling particularly lazy one day while she is out working in the yard and I'm doing nothing. I know her so well that a millisecond glance in my direction will tell me that she is not impressed. Women in general seem to have this dirty look thing down to a fine science.
Other times I will get a dirty look and I will have absolutely no idea why. If I ask she tells me it's nothing, which I know is a lie, then I sit and do some self reflection on what I might have done wrong. If it's nothing then how about we dispense with the dirty looks, or if it is something, she could tell me, and we still could be rid of the dirty look. Sometimes when she gives me a dirty look I give her one back as a counter attack, but that almost always fails miserably, as I have no basis for mine other than she gets one because I got one.
My mother had lots of dirty looks and I knew what each one meant. One was for using bad language, another for arguing, one was for disappointment, sadness, anger, confusion, disapproval, sympathy, and complete horror. Mothers are the queens of the dirty looks and should be awarded for having the same look mean so many things. I think the reason they are so good at them is that they practice for years on their husbands before they have children.
Scott Goerz
