I have heard some guys complain about how they are single, and they don't know why. They are decent looking, have good jobs, responsible, but they are puzzled as to why they can't seem to keep a girl.
I asked a few questions, and the answers for all of them were basically the same. They all claimed that they did whatever the female wanted, and were very nice and polite all the time.
They never argued or got into fights, but for some reason the guys were always the ones who got dumped.
There is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is an extreme version of nice that you don't want to fall into, and that is being too nice.
You can't be a doormat, which means letting others take advantage of you, they can literally do anything they want to you and you just say it's ok. They push your emotions to the limits and you never push back. You take whatever they do to you with the excuse that you are just being nice.
You have to stand up for yourself, when someone has said or done something that offends you, you have to tell them that what they have done is not acceptable and if they continue to offend you there has to be a consequence for their actions.
Nobody likes a pushover, nobody wants to have a conversation with somebody who will concede or agree with every point of view.
Every relationship has to be a two-way street, you give something and receive something in return, if you are always the one giving and never getting, you will be taken for granted and the person you are with will always get their way, which is a boring relationship.
Everyone has their own beliefs and ideas, you have to stand up for your own and make them known, soon after any relationship has been initiated. If you can't stand lying and cheating make sure the other person is aware of your feelings and be prepared to end the relationship if the other person doesn't respect that.
Some people are terrified of being alone, and they desperately want constant human companionship, they will be a doormat just to be around you. They have to confront those fears and turn them into a strength that they can use to help themselves.
Needing someone in your life, is opposite to, Wanting someone in your life. Needing, is you can't live without it, wanting, is you enjoy having it around but you could get rid of it and be fine as well.
Scott Goerz
